Hello, I’m Rachel an extremely proud member of the team here at Break Free.
I battled with my alcohol addiction for years, and was in and out of my local drug and alcohol services from the age of 18. Back then deep down I knew I had a problem, but wasn’t ready to commit to quitting forever, so instead I remained on the merry-go-round of parts of my life falling apart, temporarily fixing them, and then sabotaging them again in no time – asking myself time and time again why I couldn’t stop doing this to myself.
My addiction convinced me that I “couldn’t just stop” (LIE), “everyone else my age drank and partied like I did” (LIE), “things would get better when I was more settled in a career and a relationship” (LIE- it just ruined any chance I had at either!), that I “needed alcohol for confidence” (LIE- it made me someone I wasn’t, tearing my true self-worth and confidence to shreds), that I “wouldn’t be able to enjoy life without alcohol” (LIE!). After trouble with the police – 3 drink-drive charges, ruining almost every relationship I had (be that romantic, platonic, or familial), alienating friends, worrying and hurting my family continuously, putting myself in constant dangerous and risky situations, losing or leaving countless jobs through disciplinary action, being unreliable or failure to turn in altogether due to my lifestyle, failing to complete my degree, losing all self-worth and dignity, enough was enough and I was ready to stop forever.
I approached my family for help, which they had been hoping and waiting for for a long time, and my incredible Mum and Grandma did all they could to help me into rehab and support my recovery. I left rehab, and although I was sober, I was incredibly miserable (I now know this to be white-knuckling). I was constantly battling thoughts in my head, and found myself questioning if this was it? Was I just going to be depressed and anxious and feeling as though I wanted to drink but couldn’t forever, I was convinced I would be better off drinking again, or dead, and couldn’t see a way of that changing. THIS WAS NOT ME, THIS WAS MY ADDICTION, AND UNKNOWINGLY I WAS STILL BATTLING IT DAILY WHICH WAS TORTURE.
Becoming involved in BREAK FREE was the best thing that ever happened to me, suddenly I was given an opponent to fight, the REAL ME didn’t want to drink, I knew the pain and carnage that resulted in, but my addiction, IT wanted to drink and would never support my journey. This made so much sense to me, and was where everything changed forever. I was developing my awareness and understanding of why I was feeling as I was, learning tools to cope with it and attack my addiction head-on. I do not have a disease, I am not powerless, and I am not going to be always an addict. I had an addiction, I fought it, and I won. That’s that.
I have now got full control over my life, and my own mind- which is absolutely priceless and I can never thank BREAK FREE enough for that, which is why I am so passionate about the work I do for them.
If you’re stuck on the merry go round of addiction, and don’t see a way off, please reach out! We, and hundreds of people we have helped to break free from addiction can vouch for the fact that this approach will change your life. Trust the process, follow the advice, apply the tools and get your life back forever!